As entrepreneurs, one of our biggest Achilles heels is the need to be liked, aka people pleasing. It plays a huge role in someone’s psyche, business, and ability to make sales. It shows up in many ways—e.g., avoiding picking up the phone to have sales conversations, because you’re afraid of rejection. It shows up in pricing, playing small, and discounting your services.
The need to be liked can also show up in the form of you not pushing back against someone who says, “I can’t afford that.” This indicates that you’re not fighting for what you’re selling or taking a stand for the value you deliver.
In today’s episode we discuss:
- What it means to have “a need to be liked”—and where this comes from
- How Bob Proctor called me out for spending 45 minutes with people during my sales calls (because I had a need to be appreciated
- How I grew up on the streets of Chicago as both the tough guy who needed to survive—and the guy who wanted people to like me
- How people pleasing infiltrates almost every decision business owners make, and how this pushes business away
- A huge lesson I learned from Herbie the dog (this was a huge turning point in my ability to make sales)
- How I saw where I was stopping in my sales process—because I didn’t want anybody to be upset with me
- A shocking comment Steph’s grandmother made to Steph’s 3-year-old daughter, Bailey, years ago
Plus, I share how I asked a top network marketing guy for help when I was stuck. He told me, “You don’t want it bad enough,” turned around, and walked away.
If you’re in business, you need to be bold. You may need to question someone’s decisions during a sales call—which is considered rude and socially unacceptable. This is especially true with conversations around money, where you’re basically telling someone to write you a check or pay you. Asking difficult questions and pushing back during a sales call is a way of being in service to people.
Links & Additional Resources
Click below to take our People-Pleaser Assessment:
Are You A People Pleaser?
How To Identify If People Pleasing Is Ruining Your Business
Episode 194- Sales Mastery Series: Sales is an Art
Episode 499- Three Steps to Mastering Sales
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Loved this episode! I’ve heard David tell the story of Herbie in at least one of his teaching audios.
Great reminder. I don’t see the handout here that you mentioned–how to tell if you have the need to be liked.
But that’s okay–I definitely know I have the need to be liked and it stops me in so many ways in my business! I’ve been working on it but still haven’t broken myself of it. David, what ways would you suggest to do so? I remember you had some training program years ago on releasing the need to be liked and a few other needs. Do you still offer something like that?
I thought there a resource mentioned to see if you may be a people pleaser but don’t see the link in the notes or is it meant to be the leader test?
Thank you for reaching out Molodoi. You can find our People Pleaser assessment via the following link:
https://www.successfulmindpodcast.com/peoplepleaser
Appreciate you listening!